27-year-old announces she's expecting her 1st baby, grandma doesn't care because she's spent all her energy on her 23-year-old daughter's baby: 'She's head over heels in love with her other grandchild'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 26, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Not all grandparents are created equally. Ask any kid with two living grandmothers, and they probably have a favorite. While there are various factors that contribute to the closeness of a relationship between a child and their grandparent, the most important one is time. Suppose they spend all of their summers with one set of grandparents and see the other grandparents once every five years. In that case, they're obviously going to like the grandparents they see more, unless they have character flaws that make their relationship with everyone around them fraught.

Whether a kid is close with their grandparents often has a lot to do with whether their parents are close to them. After all, it's difficult to sustain regular contact between a child and a grandparent if the middleman is cut out. It's common for a person's relationship with their parents to change when they have children of their own. Sometimes, new grandparents transition from calling once a week to calling every day, wanting to hear updates about their grandchildren and offer support to their adult child during a difficult time in their lives. Some grandparents transition from being close with their adult children to being largely absent once the baby arrives. It really depends on the family situation. 

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  • The grandma in this story is involved with one of her grandchildren, but didn't really care when her older daughter announced her pregnancy. It really goes to show that siblings don't have the same parents.

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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for getting pregnant within a year of my sister having a baby?

    I (27) have been with my husband for almost three years now. We've always talked about wanting a family, and recently decided to start trying. I was so excited when I found out we were having a baby! My sister (23f) just welcomed her first baby with her husband a few months ago. The
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  • entire family has been over the moon, and my mom has been the biggest help to them, even staying over often to help with the baby over night. He is the best baby ever, and definitely contributed to my baby fever. Anyway, when I announced my pregnancy, I was not met with the same enthusiasm. Ok, fine. I get
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    via Jonathan Borba

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • that they're all babied out, but I'm still excited, nonetheless. I recently had a conversation with my mom about being a little disappointed with the family's reaction, and she proceeded to tell me that it was poor timing, because she needed a break. I never asked or assumed that I would depend on her for help with the baby, although I can't lie
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  • and say it wouldn't hurt if she refused to offer at all. She's head over heels in love with her other grand child, we all are, but she was excited from the moment my sister announced her pregnancy. I get that my baby won't be her first grandchild, so it's not as exciting for her, but does it make me the AH for getting pregnant a few months after my sister has a baby?
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  • A close up of three positive pregnancy tests
    via Laura Ohlman

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Interesting Wing_461 Well, this random internet stranger and also a grandma is very excited and happy for you. Congratulations !!!!!!!
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  • speechless_chatter82 OP, this isn't normal. I hate the term golden child, but it really does seem like your sister is the golden child in the family. In my family and my husband's family, everyone was always over the moon if someone was having a baby. It didn't matter who, how many, how far apart, etc. Heck, two of my sisters-in-law and myself all ended up pregnant together and due around the same time. We each got our own celebrations, gifts, etc.
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  • I would honestly go low contact for a bit until your family can show up for you and realize that it's not okay to be any less excited for you or treat you differently than your sister. If you don't, you'll spend your entire pregnancy sad and trying to win their approval for something you shouldn't have to fight for approval for. Congratulations and ignore your family. Enjoy this special time with your husband before the chaos bringer arrives!
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  • Boss_Bitch_Werk That was my initial thought too. We can all see who the favorite child is and it's not OP. Congrats on the baby OP and go low contact. I'd personally get a therapist because you want to be prepared for them not coming around at all the way they did with your sister and that's gonna hurt a ton.
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  • Alternative_Ask7244 OP, I second the recommendation to seek out therapy to prepare yourself. I wish I had done this instead of assume that my family, especially my mom, would be present. She and my family are not around. I'm on my 4th pregnancy and nothing has changed except I had to go through the hurt and pain and then accept it. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time trying to get them to care about me or my kids. Good luck OP and congratulations on your pregnancy!
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  • Corfiz74 I agree on the low contact, OP, because scapegoatism is an inheritable trait - your child will likely always be treated as less than their cousin(s), so I wouldn't subject them to that kind of hurt.
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  • IllustratorSlow1614 This. My aunt in law welcomed three grandbabies in the same year, and she was so thrilled for each of her daughters. The only issue was logistics because two live locally and one lives on the other side of the world, she couldn't physically be there to support all of them at the same time, but she tries very hard to be a present mother and grandmother.
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  • It doesn't sound normal for people to be unbothered or even mildly disappointed by one child's pregnancy when they were over the moon with another's, unless there's extenuating circumstances like addiction going on.
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  • Relative_Panda_7979 Your NTA my best friends mil was the same way never showed an ounce of excitement towards her and her husband having a baby but her daughter got pregnant with someone she barley knew and she was jumping to do everything. She's like you said head over heels for her daughters baby but not her sons (my best friends baby)
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  • Blueydgrl56 My ex-mil was like that too. My kids are 14/12/8 and have little to no relationship with her because she chose her favorites, and mine now see it, and are much happier not having her in their lives. She reaches out only to my oldest maybe every 2 months to tell him about her other grandchild. She has forgotten their birthdays for years, I'm thankful they no longer get upset. My ex is still clueless and refuses to see the truth. I look at it as a blessing, as she is a hateful poisonou
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  • KaleidoscopeClean701 "I was not met with the same enthusiasm" tells me all that I need to know. ALL pregnancy announcements in a family should be met with extreme enthusiasm. That is so sad and I am so sorry. Praying for you!
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  • Fit_Maintenance_2289 My Mom didn't really care about mine either. When I'd call to tell her about them, she'd quickly change the subject to tell me what the other grandkids were doing. We lived 1500 miles away so you'd think she might want to hear something since she didn't see them. Hopefully your sister will be there for you! Congratulations and have a wonderful pregnancy.
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  • 13surgeries If your mom needs a break, she should take one in the months before your baby arrives. She doesn't need to be at your sister's house 24/7. Is she always this self-centered?
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  • Competitive-Bite4016 NTA but what a weird reaction. Everyone should be thrilled that there will be two cousins so close in age. I'm sure everyone will be so excited when the baby comes. They may just all be baby'd out like they said.
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  • My family did not have a great reaction with my second but it was timing. Everything worked out in the end. Don't let them steal your joy! Your baby is a blessing to you and your husband. Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy
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  • KaleidoscopeClean 701 NTA. Your sis is the favorite. I am so sorry. They will always love the sisters baby more. Your YOUNGER sister had a baby first and YOU have poor timing That is beyond messed up. Sounds like your family slowly letting you down that your baby will never be the favorite and neither are you. Only child here. Super sensitive to favoritism in other people's family and that is what is at play here. It is not you. It is them. Come to terms with this fact. Focus on your baby and mo
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  • linerva I mean technically the younger sister also didn't owe OP having her baby first. Both sisters had a right to choose when to try to extend their family, regardless of what anyone else was doing. The issue here is the mom and wider family, let's not unnecessarily shame a married woman for daring to conceive before her elder sister. I know that's probably not what you're trying to imply, but i thought it bore clarifying.
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  • gigidiva13 NTA. It's ok, just let your mom know that MIL is D NG to help you with the pregnancy and after the baby is born, she will be there to give you support. See how well she takes that news.
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Babies family dynamics family drama baby pregnancy pregnancy announcement sisters siblings grandma grandchildren parenting grandmas family pregnant sister
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